Lama Ole’s answer:
Expectations are a form of attachment. That’s why we should seek to make the other as rich and beautiful as possible. Perceive each other as free people: exchange, give space, share, learn from each other, and come out of the relationship enriched and able to pass this on to others. Make sure that you both can grow, that you can meditate and are not restrained.
Of course there are still deep habits left over from the customs before our social welfare system: the woman stays at home taking care of the kids while the man is outside hunting with a spear or fighting. Women do have greater difficulty with attachment and men with anger—in line with the tantra families. But with today’s social systems, women have the same freedoms as men and do not need to be so clingy, while men in turn can be less angry.
Today men and women can meet as free people, as independent individuals who can exchange, share, learn from each other, and walk away from the relationship enriched. They can then pass on to others what they have learned and experienced. Unfold this power within yourselves.