When I notice my disturbing emotions and try to let them go, at the same time I feel my own reluctance to do this. Where does this come from?

Lama Ole’s answer:

This is precisely the influence of the ego; that’s why one needs wisdom. The ego is enchanting and addictive, just like all other poisons. After some years of meditation it’s easy to make fun of the ego. But until then, it’s not so easy. I compare the ego with a military coup in a banana republic. A few gentlemen with mustaches and berets enter, shoot a few people, and rule the country.

The mind in all its abundance is like a radiant jewel with a lot of different sides and qualities. Some of those facets—like memory, pride, expectation, hope, and fear—are strongly emotionally charged. They try to control the rest of the mind—for example, its ability to think in a mathematical or political way, artistic creation, and all its other interesting talents. This way, those fat gentlemen leading the coup believe they are somehow vindicated.

So overcoming the ego is about getting the fat men down from the horse and keeping them there. That is the point. When you succeed, you become spontaneous and effortless. Then the jewel of mind shines in all its facets, because it is wisdom in itself. Without filters and obstacles, the mind produces whatever quality is needed in the moment—that can come forward unhindered.

Regarding those dictators who try to run the system, we remove them by all means—attacking with wisdom, with joy, with everything possible, until the mind trusts itself and can rest in its center, without hope and fear, simply in the moment itself.

One starts by removing neurotic behavior; that is the first level of the Hinayana or Foundational Way. When the neuroses are gone, then compassion and wisdom arise on the level of the Great Way. After one progresses with this and gains surplus, one comes to the final level of the Diamond Way. In the end, one rests in the here and now, with all antennas extended in all directions. Fearlessness, joy, and love have arisen by themselves and no longer need any outer cause.