Tag: Helping others

If I’m trying to help someone who has difficulties but I see no progress, how long should I be patient and keep trying and when is it better to withdraw?

Lama Ole’s answer:

If people are willing to learn, then we can stick with them. But if they’re only looking for a place to live out their bad habits, then we should stop them. You simply check whether they are developing and progressing through the space you make for them or whether they are merely using it to let their bad habits solidify. It is idiotic compassion if one allows people to strengthen negative or stupid habits. That is not good for them at all.

Actually, the old German saying is the best: “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” The hardest school is the best school, and sticking it out to the end is definitely the best and fastest way to develop.

If we notice that a friend is living in a fantasy world, should we destroy his illusions or is that dangerous?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Would he jump out of the window if you destroy his fantasy? If he would, then you don’t have a friend, you have a patient. You have to check whether people can handle it when you tell them what is really happening. If they can take it, then you can destroy their illusions. Afterwards, you should stay friendly, keep your distance, but be there protectively and make good wishes.

If you can’t say anything, then in the end you can only wish them the best. Try to help them two or three times, and if that doesn’t work, then simply be nice and make good wishes.