Lama Ole’s answer:
That is a question of style. You must simply decide whether you are in kindergarten or among adults. If people act so childishly, they are emotionally immature and should not be taken seriously. Or perhaps you only believe that you helped, just like the people who believe that they are helping their lama by doing the opposite of what he told them because they think they are smarter than he is. Perhaps people are not thankful because you acted based on your own ideas and not based on their situation. There is often too much ego involved in helping. One comes in with a box full of ideas, and that makes everything really complicated.
In my experience, people who you help without an ulterior motive will be thankful and develop good qualities. At the beginning, they want to see if you’re trying to make them dependent. But if you shine on them like the sun, again and again; if you are kind no matter what they do, in the end they’ll also give you something back. It’s also very difficult to help with money. I myself do not lend money; rather I give money if people need some. But I would never bring them into a relationship of dependency.