If someone always causes problems and we think we should intervene, what is the best way to do that?

Lama Ole’s answer:

In situations like this, there are two kinds of people: those who know they have a problem and are ready to change, and those who must be convinced that they have a problem and should change. If a person has already discovered that they have a difficult character and that things are not going so well for them, then we can work with them. We have a responsibility to them, and we try to keep them out of difficult situations.

That is what I always say when someone comes to me with relationship problems and says, “I give all the time and I get so little in return.” Usually, they are women. And I tell them, “Look, it is great to be able to give, but does he know what he is getting and does he also wish to give something?” If he does, then it doesn’t matter how closed off the boy is; when he gets good things for long enough, he will also give—because he is full of good impressions. So, if we work with people who are open, it is easy.

But if you work with people who disturb others and don’t admit it, then stop them so they see that the world does not agree with their trip. If they become reasonable at that point and want to learn something, then you can help them. And if they don’t want to understand anything and the ego keeps coming up again and again and becomes disturbing, then leave them outside for a while. Work around them or past them and protect others from them until, at some point, they discover that it was better before—that the ego might not be worth it. Then they are ready to learn.

As long as you are not angry, the method you choose will be right. If your own attitude is good, then what happens is the karma of the others. Then they have good karma if they meet you on one of their reasonable days and bad karma if they meet you on a difficult day. Whoever always does his best will have no difficulties.