I’ve got problems with my femininity. Somehow I have deficits and blockages in this respect. Can you give me some advice?

Lama Ole’s answer:

It is possible for a woman to lose touch with her femininity because she has been talked into believing that it is something bad. This is a crucial mistake. We Danes say there are no frigid women, only clumsy men. A derogatory view of femininity can be brought about by men as well as by women. Sometimes it is rooted in a negative experience in one’s childhood.

In this case, one needs to recover one’s femininity. This is possible through meditation. Mind is like a radiating jewel, and once it is purified through meditation, you obtain something good. You can identify with a Tara form or, if you are a lively type, with a red feminine energy form. If you identify completely with it, all flaws dissolve and any destroyed femininity will be completely restored. Similarly, meditation on the protectors gives men the strength they didn’t have before.

With monks and nuns, it’s the other way around: men meditate on female aspects because they lack those qualities, and women meditate on male aspects since they lack those. This is how one gets the balance.

It is essential to understand that your mind is the mind of the Buddha and that all veils and disturbances are negligible, that they are only dust on the jewel. It’s the jewel itself that is real.