I often work on something for a long time, and when I get close to finishing it, I stop because I realize it’s not the right thing for me. But I get frustrated by never being able to finish anything.

Lama Ole’s answer:

Nobody benefits if you are feeling bad. Thus you should think that your decision is ultimately for the benefit of all beings. But you also have to be sure that you don’t run away from anything.

The only sins we don’t forgive ourselves are those we haven’t committed. Never avoid something out of anxiety or the wish to escape life. We should work on ourselves and shouldn’t act out of weakness. For example, the family has been living on social welfare for years, and you get a chance to change the situation by passing some exam. If you then suddenly were to think that you’re incapable of it, that would be cowardly; that is character destroying. You simply have to get through it, even if it means falling flat on your face. It is like bungee jumping: if you have climbed up, then you also have to jump. Otherwise, you can’t look into the mirror later. There are situations where one simply has to do what is to be done.

But there are also other situations where we don’t change our opinion out of fear or weakness, but instead we simply realize that we have been on the wrong track and we do something else instead. That’s completely all right.

But the best approach is to finish one thing and then move on to the next. That is good style! And one takes the time needed for each task as a gift to oneself. This way one can always take previous experiences into the next situation and benefit from them.

How do we transform effort into joyful effort?

Lama Ole’s answer:

In the beginning, we work largely with the determination to experience the effort as joyful!

It was never necessary for me to apply that therapy to myself. I always thought: the greater, the faster, the more joyful, the better! But for those who don’t experience this, I can actually imagine that it helps to tell oneself, for example, “Wow! How exciting! I made this woman happy! Look at how she lies there and radiates!” or, “Wow! I took the curve in the road faster this time!” or, “I worked for fourteen hours but am still fresh enough to have a beer!”

We should constantly think in a “both-and” way, and in doing so we develop the attitude that everything is completely great and exciting. Thus we pull ourselves up from the swamp by our own hair and make ourselves rich through our own will and strength.

You simply change your view. If you are looking through black glasses, everything is hell; if you’re looking through rose-colored glasses, then it’s heaven. And if you have no glasses, then it is really about whatever has to be done next. And that is more beautiful and exciting than any heaven. But you can reach this state only from heaven, not from hell. So you have to start with good projections and experiences and continue from there.