Lama Ole’s answer:
It is very important to understand that if we separate, we don’t get back the years spent together. This is why we should consider them a success from the outset.
In a relationship, there is always either development or purification. If we have shared a lot of good things together, such as empowerments, then this positive energy definitely has to be maintained between the two of you, while wishing the other person all the best. Then the separation is no longer a breakup but just a change in relationship. Then the former wife can turn into the sister, mother, or daughter, or the former lover into the brother, father, or son.
Furthermore, in a difficult relationship, you can learn a lot about what you don’t need to repeat in the future. If you experienced something painful, then remember that mutual karma is dissolving here. You might have done something similar to the other in a former life. The principle of cause and effect is at work in everyone’s lives at all times. If one performs a harmful deed, one will certainly have difficulties afterwards.
And to avoid generating new suffering, it is very important not to create any new negative connection by breaking up in anger. Otherwise, you will meet again and again in future lives, always repeating the same mistakes.
Please always make good wishes for the other person. Good wishes will help yourself and the other, no matter how badly you have been treated. A smart person forgives and cuts through—that way there is no bond left. Both partners can always decide to focus on what was good and to highlight what made sense. Everyone creates their own heaven and hell.