Author: Lama Ole Nydahl

Are there specific dreaming techniques one can use?

Lama Ole’s answer:

We do have a meditation that enables us to use deep sleep. We also have meditations for the state of dreaming, but those are a bit dangerous because they work with the throat center, where a lot of very mixed energies lie. If one works with the throat center in the wrong way, one starts to talk harshly and snappishly.

But the deep-sleep meditation works with the heart center. Here, one cannot make mistakes because this energy center is well rounded and in the middle. It can bear a lot and is unshakable—really solid and strong. However, one should take refuge before doing this deep-sleep practice called the “clear light meditation.” In this practice, you learn to become more and more aware and able to take the feeling of dreaming into the day. This protects you very, very well!

I myself received the transmission for this meditation from the 16th Karmapa, but it stems from the 15th. With this practice you can learn to remain in the clear light during the night and to feel at home in it. You do the meditation before falling asleep. It is easy to hold the awareness before falling asleep and while lying down—one can learn both. But to stay clear in the moment consciousness goes from being awake to sleeping, that is the difficult point. But you also don’t necessarily need this.

In any case, if you are working with a machine the next day and you want to take all ten fingers home with you, then you must not do the clear light meditation too often. In Tibet, where people often had to walk long distances with a horse in front, there one could afford to do this. But for us today, maybe just once a week is good.

What is the meaning of dreams in Buddhism?

Lama Ole’s answer:

First of all, ordinary life is more important than dreams, because this normal waking state that we experience now is a collective dream. In contrast, whatever happens during the night is just individual dreams. We also wake up every morning within more or less the same dream, while at night the dreams change constantly. Our dreams at night are mostly related only to the mind, while the dream we are experiencing right now includes our body and speech.

On the other hand, we have special kinds of wisdom in dreams that we don’t have here, because we are more tied to experience and have more attachment during the waking state. One can also definitely deduce things from dreams.

To do this, we can divide the night into three phases. During the first third, the impressions of the day get put into different drawers in the store consciousness. In the second third, some people have nightmares; they feel pressure and difficulties in the middle of the night. I myself don’t know about this, but if it happens it can have two causes: disturbing energies from the outside or too-slow breathing that causes the body to develop fear of dying. The body then discharges a lot of adrenaline, and when our consciousness perceives this it reacts—“Hey, danger! Enemies!” But in fact it is only the body reanimating itself.

And then the third part of the night is useful. Shortly before waking up, one can dream of the immediate future. And right in the moment of waking, one can dream of the somewhat more distant future. This way, our store consciousness tries to bring a message through the clouds of ignorance and veils into the moment of awareness. This happens in dreams; the mind tries to show itself something. But it has big hindrances caused by expectations, fears, veils, tomorrow and yesterday, etc., which make what is displayed inaccurate.

But in general, you can say that dreams in color are more important than those without color. Dreams with upward movement are a good sign and those with descending movement are not so good, except when one decides out of great compassion to go down consciously and help the beings there. Mind is the boss; it can transform this.

For Buddhists the best dream, of course, is to see one’s lama or buddhas, to receive blessings, or to hear mantras. That’s absolutely great! It means that during the process of dying, the good impressions are so strong and deep that they will come up from the store consciousness and help us into a good rebirth.

In general, also for non-Buddhists or those who don’t work with their minds, the feeling one has while waking up is crucial. If, for example, you have killed people during the night and you wake up feeling wonderful, then this doesn’t mean that you have found your true sadistic nature, but rather that you have removed disturbances. And if you were helping elderly women cross the street all night but you wake up with mixed or bad feelings, then you surely had subconscious thoughts of being mentioned in their wills later.

In any case, the most important thing about dreams is to experience that which is dreaming, the dreamer itself. Try to know who is dreaming and what is being dreamt. And during the day, try to bring the feeling of dreaming into life. Then you are coated with Teflon—you are protected. You won’t get caught by disturbing emotions as much as usual.

Are there any methods against pain in Buddhism?

Lama Ole’s answer:

A vast topic! The best might be a general Buddhist method and, I’m sorry, it sounds very simple: detachment. That means to always understand that we have our body rather than that we are our body.

Pain is always related to the belief in the reality of experiences that appear in one’s mind. If one knows that this body impermanent and should be used as a tool, then this kind of thinking—“Oh, it’s happening to me. I am the target. I’m suffering!”—this vanishes. It rather becomes, “Yes, there is suffering, and bodies can feel pain,” and so on; it becomes less personal. We have to train this attitude while we are young and fresh. Likewise, we don’t learn meditation while dying; we learn it now.

Mantras like OM MANI PEME HUNG or KARMAPA CHENNO are always very good. There are also special mantras and certain breathing practices that can help. But the most important thing is to not take the pain too seriously and to focus on something else.

How can we deal with pain?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Everybody gets sick. Fifteen percent of humans have the chance to use pain relievers, and the rest suffer. One should definitely use the help one can get.

The process of dying, for example, is not influenced by painkillers. What happens while dying has nothing to do with chemistry. However, heavy use of painkillers does shorten life. We should simply think, “I am removing the pain”—then the karma is good. One shouldn’t think “I am shortening life,” because then the karma is bad. It’s easy—mind is boss.

I often work on something for a long time, and when I get close to finishing it, I stop because I realize it’s not the right thing for me. But I get frustrated by never being able to finish anything.

Lama Ole’s answer:

Nobody benefits if you are feeling bad. Thus you should think that your decision is ultimately for the benefit of all beings. But you also have to be sure that you don’t run away from anything.

The only sins we don’t forgive ourselves are those we haven’t committed. Never avoid something out of anxiety or the wish to escape life. We should work on ourselves and shouldn’t act out of weakness. For example, the family has been living on social welfare for years, and you get a chance to change the situation by passing some exam. If you then suddenly were to think that you’re incapable of it, that would be cowardly; that is character destroying. You simply have to get through it, even if it means falling flat on your face. It is like bungee jumping: if you have climbed up, then you also have to jump. Otherwise, you can’t look into the mirror later. There are situations where one simply has to do what is to be done.

But there are also other situations where we don’t change our opinion out of fear or weakness, but instead we simply realize that we have been on the wrong track and we do something else instead. That’s completely all right.

But the best approach is to finish one thing and then move on to the next. That is good style! And one takes the time needed for each task as a gift to oneself. This way one can always take previous experiences into the next situation and benefit from them.

How do we transform effort into joyful effort?

Lama Ole’s answer:

In the beginning, we work largely with the determination to experience the effort as joyful!

It was never necessary for me to apply that therapy to myself. I always thought: the greater, the faster, the more joyful, the better! But for those who don’t experience this, I can actually imagine that it helps to tell oneself, for example, “Wow! How exciting! I made this woman happy! Look at how she lies there and radiates!” or, “Wow! I took the curve in the road faster this time!” or, “I worked for fourteen hours but am still fresh enough to have a beer!”

We should constantly think in a “both-and” way, and in doing so we develop the attitude that everything is completely great and exciting. Thus we pull ourselves up from the swamp by our own hair and make ourselves rich through our own will and strength.

You simply change your view. If you are looking through black glasses, everything is hell; if you’re looking through rose-colored glasses, then it’s heaven. And if you have no glasses, then it is really about whatever has to be done next. And that is more beautiful and exciting than any heaven. But you can reach this state only from heaven, not from hell. So you have to start with good projections and experiences and continue from there.

Why do you keep saying that a solution-oriented approach is better than a problem-oriented one? In order to solve a problem, I first have to understand it.

Lama Ole’s answer:

If one identifies with what one is unable to do, then one ultimately becomes less and less capable and life becomes gray and boring. No one makes progress in the world this way.

But if one identifies with what one is able to do and jumps into the tasks, then there is always something to do—one creates a huge, lively world.

What should we do if we find ourselves with people who want to keep us small and dependent?

Lama Ole’s answer:

If people want to keep you small and dependent, then become a bit more powerful. Do some bodybuilding, learn a martial art, or seduce them. Confront them with the fact that you are not so little anymore, even though they won’t like this because most people have fixed ideas about how others should be. Be persistent, don’t react to it, and carry on living as you wish. This way the relationship can level off into a good coexistence over time, and you can share your ideas. But don’t let yourself be imprisoned. If nothing changes, just continue living as you do.

How can I strengthen my self-confidence?

Lama Ole’s answer:

It is important to put your energy into solving your problems instead of thinking about them. This also applies to sicknesses—they don’t pass more quickly if you think of them constantly.

In the moment a situation gets difficult or you become sick, it is good to put all your energy into the goal—that is, into the solution of the problem or into your recovery. Your mind and thoughts shouldn’t dwell on the problems. Then you will get through it in the best way, and the karma dissolves.

Otherwise, it is simply stupid not to fight something that has to be fought! But if the karma still doesn’t dissolve, then observe what is there. In fact, in the moment depression, sickness, or other difficulties appear, the original cause is gone. Then it is only a question of time until the negative karma has been removed—until the effect is gone. And there one should do whatever is possible with one’s body, speech, and mind! Non-Buddhists try to avoid difficulties wherever they can and to constantly experience something beautiful instead. This is why the many ups and downs in life appear.

All “trips” you experience are like images in the mirror. Behind everything that happens—behind every grimace, every devil—is a clear mirror that doesn’t change. This is your buddha nature! So try to act as normally and meaningfully as possible while you work through the difficulties on your way. Then everything you do will have long-term effects and great strength. Work with this attitude: “I am a buddha who just hasn’t recognized it yet.”

What is spiritual pride?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Spiritual pride arises if you don’t face up to things and you always start something new as soon as you get deep in one area and have to work with yourself. This way you don’t develop, but rather you always think you know better because you’ve already tried everything.

I’ll give an example. It was in Copenhagen, the only time I have ever been to a Theosophical Society. On the way to the lecture rooms, I couldn’t even see the wallpaper because there were books everywhere. Almost all of them were secret books, and I thought, “Whoever reads so many secret things in a mixed-up way will certainly get confused.” And, “Who is actually printing those books if they are so secret?”

I explained what Buddhism is: that we don’t want suppression and holy wars; that we don’t have a creator god who punishes and judges; that instead, karma—the law of cause and effect—is working in our lives; that Buddhism is not a religion of belief; that we don’t have any gods, and so on. Then, after the lecture, one lady said with joy and devotion, “Ah, again we see that everything is from God and that everything is the same.”

But when they got old and the time to die arrived, many Theosophists came to me. They were totally confused and had no clarity. Everything was mixed up with a bit of sugar coating to make it feel good. I was very happy that I could help some of them.

It is similar with Hindu groups—for example, with Bhagwan (a guru called Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh or Osho). Also today in the New Age movement, people get fascinated by crystals and such things, which is totally heartwarming but doesn’t point to one’s own mind. None of these things point to mind itself. Various facts are mixed in a way that feels good, but there is no clarity. Thus one doesn’t hold anything in one’s hands at the moment of death. When people get sick and old and start looking for lasting values, they have nothing.

Only three feelings are real: fearlessness, joy, and love. They are real because their cause does not change—namely, that mind is space. And this space is radiantly clear and limitless. If you experience these feelings, if this grows inside you, then you are approaching the radiant power of your mind. All other feelings are conditioned, put together, and impermanent.

What can we do against pride?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Here, there actually might be only one way: transform the exclusive pride into an inclusive pride. That is, instead of thinking, “How great I am,” one thinks, “How great we all are.”

Life becomes very complicated if you think you are better than others. You always find yourself in bad company and you act accordingly, making everything difficult. But if you think the other way around—that we are all great—then you are in good company; you can learn from everybody and be truly beneficial right here and now with your mind, thoughts, and actions. And this is why I strongly advise you to shape your environment as positively as possible—not to emphasize mistakes and negativity, but to learn to perceive beautiful and interesting things. After a while, good experiences arise and it becomes easy to think in a positive, fully engaged way.

The opposite of this mental attitude—that is, the perfected pecking-order culture—is one you can experience, for example, in a Chinese monastery. There are seven classes of tea: the one in the uppermost drawer has been harvested by certified virgins on the full moon, while the bottom drawer has grass. And when you enter, the monk looks at you and pulls open the second drawer from the bottom. If one constructs such a system, one will have a very complicated life.

How can we avoid developing pride?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Actually, pride is very important for development in the Diamond Way. However, it must not be the exclusive type pride that degrades others, but rather the inclusive kind—the ability to experience the beautiful, exciting, and fantastic aspects of everything and everyone. This is the positive, useful kind that we call vajra—or “diamond”—pride.

The exclusive, negative pride is where one judges others, thinking, “I am good and the others are not good.” It narrows the situation and difficulties arise. And those difficulties are usually one’s own problems, which arise again and again because they are the projections of one’s own mind. The world is a mirror for one’s own face. If you can see a lot of good things in your fellow human beings, then it is a sign that the negative pride has been removed from your mind to a great extent. But if instead you mostly see others’ mistakes, then you know you still have some work to do. Try to see everybody as a Buddha—to always discover something good in them. Then there will also be good feedback for your own mind.

Development starts when we meet people and are able to give them something—in the sense that we put happiness, beauty, and meaning into the encounter, anticipating a good connection. Thus we reach a level where a relationship of mutual learning begins. People start to learn from each other. They grow, new possibilities develop, difficulties fall away, and in the end there is a pure mandala. Also on the relative level, it is so easy: those who give are always rich and experience heaven, but those who have to hold on to everything and can never get enough experience hell.

Are there special methods for different types of people?

Lama Ole’s answer:

There are methods on the general level and on the highest level. On the highest level, there are the methods of identification through the three types of tantras.

The desire type meditates on the mother tantras. Here, the building-up phase is short and the completion phase long. One doesn’t pay too much attention to all the details but just sits there and feels really great.

Angry people keep the completion phase short because it feels too personal. This type of person sets a high value on having everything fit in its place, and he would rather keep a bit of distance. And for the confused people, both phases are almost equally long. They can also use the many details in the meditation to help them stay focused.

Karmapa is the activity of all buddhas; therefore, in the meditation you yourselves will notice which situation you are in. If you are desire types, it is not so important what the crown means or what Karmapa knows or can do. The main thing is the good feeling during the melting phase. If you are an anger type, you’ll want to know what every detail means and the melting phase doesn’t need to be so close. If you are a confusion type, then the emphasis goes back and forth. Those are the three ways to work with the meditation.

How can we recognize the type of person we are dealing with?

Lama Ole’s answer:

First, look at the body language. If they lean back in their seat and give the impression that they don’t want to listen, then these are anger types and it is better to hold back a little bit. If they come forward and cannot get enough, they are desire types and one can step into the situation completely. And if they look back and forth and don’t know what’s going on, then one is facing a confusion type.

You also see this in the streets: some people almost fall into the shop window because they want everything. Others almost get knocked over by cars because they want to have a lot of distance from everything. And some zigzag here and there, because they don’t know where they want to go. Also the clothing tells a lot—whether it’s form-fitting and shows skin or is instead a bit stiff or clumsy.

I myself am the best example of the desire type. For me it’s almost impossible to remember things I don’t like, and I constantly like everything I see. The anger types, on the other hand, are those who can always find something that they don’t like. There is more distance. Everyone has their box; they are more dignified and courteous. And then there are the philosopher types who have so many ideas and don’t really know what they want.

One should simply try to behave towards others according to their tendencies. The Dharma is good for everybody. The ways are different, but at the goal we are all one again. With this good feeling, one overlooks the differences and tries to use what is best in the moment.