Is it better to throw oneself completely into a relationship or to set limits at the outset to preserve some autonomy for oneself?

Lama Ole’s answer:

In my opinion, it’s best to dive in completely. But if you prefer to live alongside each other with clearly defined limits—like in a parent-child or brother-sister relationship—this can work out well too, though one doesn’t experience the total closeness of a romantic bond. I think that getting fully involved and jumping in with both legs is far more exciting.

In matters of love, the one who gives everything wins. Love is like a well: the more you give, the more you get. We grow by giving. Naturally, the motivation must be right as well: make the wish that the other grows and develops. Don’t become dependent, but rather stay grounded to be able to give continuously.

People might think that the one who doesn’t contribute anything to the relationship is the winner and the one who gives everything loses everything. But this is not true. Those who don’t contribute also won’t learn anything, while those who give will also gain and grow.