Lama Ole’s answer:
This is quite easy. Think of others, of what you can do for them and how you can give them joy. Then the rest will fit by itself.
Don’t think about yourself, but rather think, “Here is somebody who loves me, who needs me.” And then try to give. And while thinking of the other person, you’ll get back your own affirmation and joy retroactively, so to speak. If you only think about what you could experiences or where you are vulnerable, then it’s like driving a car with a load of lead in the trunk: you won’t get far and it doesn’t drive well. Dedicate yourself fully to the task at hand; confidently work with things as they are, and you will benefit.
I think that people do not love enough. They want things to be convenient and don’t push their limits. We should completely plunge into love and experience something—that is precious for our own development.
As an example, I’ll tell you the story of the little philosophical bear cub. When the time had come to learn to walk, the cub was pondering over which paw to move first. The mother came by, and thinking that he had been standing around far too long, she gave him a shove. He went flying forward but then walked perfectly afterwards. The bear cub never came to know which paw he moved first.
With love it’s the same thing. You simply do your best and think of giving others happiness and meaning.