What would you advise to someone who is longing for a partnership but at the same time is afraid of too much closeness?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Examine what type of fear it is. Is it fear of physical closeness or fear of mental closeness? A handy method to find out whether you have a basic physical openness is to ask yourself whether you’d be fine using the other’s toothbrush. If you do feel that the person is attractive and you enjoy touching and watching them, then try to find out how to remove the obstacles.

Start from where the power is. If you mainly find the other physically attractive, start here and check whether this can also be extended to the mind. If you like the other because of their mind, then check whether this can be extended to the body. It is always “the art of the possible”: always start with what fits, and from there see what’s possible.

It is important to examine your attitude as well. If you go in with the approach of “what can I give?” then the relationship will certainly turn out well. If instead you have the attitude, “what can I get?” then it surely won’t turn out well. This is why you should strengthen yourself and make yourself aware of what you can give. See yourself as powerful and capable, and think that you’ll give something good to the partner. Then you’ll be open to everything good that you receive as well. Don’t make yourself small by thinking, “Who wants to take little me along?” Make yourself big and go out into the world.