A couple’s love life usually dwindles after a few years. Why is this and is there a way to prevent it?

Lama Ole’s answer:

I once saw an article about this that said if after three years a couple hasn’t had children, something in the hormones changes and making love isn’t as fun anymore. Though this isn’t my own experience, it might be like this if the relationship is mainly based on physical attraction.

But if the attraction isn’t only on the outer level but also on the inner and secret levels, then things are different. It is really important to see each other on a high level. Otherwise, the partners stop developing. They turn into each other’s bad conscience and don’t do anything fun together anymore. Everything turns into a habit and their sexuality atrophies. I observe this quite often with people. In these cases, I always say, “Do something fun together. Go on holiday without your children. Create a situation where you can fully focus on each other, like in the past when you had just fallen in love.”

As a couple, try to see each other on the highest level—as a mandala, a powerfield of love. If you try to see the female part as a lotus flower and the male part as a diamond, then the female and male principles meet in the act of union as space and bliss, as inspiration and activity, as compassion and wisdom. If you open up to that, enormous joy can arise.

One should experience the body as pure and as a tool to create happiness and joy. Love is more than just a quarter hour after turning off the TV!

And if you have made love in the morning and leave the house afterwards, don’t try to look as neutral as possible so that nobody recognizes what you have just experienced. Radiate the good vibrations of love out into the world. It is important to pass on everything positive you experience to others.