Author: Lama Ole Nydahl

If mind has been clear light from beginningless time, then why do disturbing feelings arise at all?

Lama Ole’s answer:

All disturbing feelings arise from ignorance. Ignorance is the fundamental inability of mind to see that the one experiencing, that which is experienced, and the experience itself complement one another—that space and its clarity are the same everywhere. Unfortunately, one mistakes space for an “I” and thinks that the clarity—all that appears in space—is a “you.” Out of this separation, the disturbing feelings arise.

We develop attachment to what we want and aversion against what we dislike. From attachment, desire and greed arise, and from aversion, hate and jealousy arise. Likewise, from ignorance—from stupidity—appears pride; one thinks of oneself as something real and important, even though one might die at any moment.

The Buddha teaches that there are 84,000 combinations of these basic disturbing emotions. They all lead to harmful actions and words, which again produce bad results. This suffering makes us believe that the world is against us. Then bad actions arise again, and the cycle continues on and on.

Because of Christianity, we here in the West believe that “clear” things cannot be holy. We think there can only be miracles if we leave things unclear, if they are a little bit mystical. But in Buddhism, we want to make everything as clear as possible! It is good to look at things carefully, to doubt, to differentiate, to be critical. This is how one becomes a really good Buddhist. Buddha explains the way things are, but the experience we must gain ourselves. It’s only unwise if we doubt the same things again and again. When we have resolved a doubt—and thus learnt something—we simply move on. But it is good to examine everything critically.

Whoever is critical in the beginning is like a diamond in the end: indestructible and clear. One has sorted out all doubts and internalized the essence of the teachings. Whoever is full of love and desire at first will be like a lotus flower in the end: open to everything.

People belong to different buddha families:

The transformation of anger is the diamond family.

The transformation of pride is the jewel family.

The transformation of attachment is the lotus family.

The transformation of jealousy is the action family.

The transformation of stupidity is the buddha family.

The strongest disturbing feeling—whatever puts the most stones in one’s way—is at the same time the best raw material for enlightenment.

How can one get rid of the ego?

Lama Ole’s answer:

You outsmart the thing by its own means. Buddhism is a method of constantly outsmarting the ego. You have to use the energy of the ego—the illusory, non-existent ego—in order to get to where it is no longer there. So you use this idea of a self to purify the veils until there is no more ego illusion.

The ego is very strong, but it is also stupid. There are some great teachers in the history of the Karma Kagyu lineage who worked directly against the ego. The story of Milarepa and his teacher Marpa is particularly well known—that was still a really tough school. But most of the time, one has to give people something sweet at first. The ego then thinks, “Ah, not only am I a good guy, but now I’m also getting spiritual.” One then keeps this good feeling as long as possible.

Later, the ego slowly discovers that it gets a lot of bread and potatoes but little meat and vegetables. One now belongs to a noble family. Especially with me as a teacher, it is clear that I like a “stiff upper lip” and good style, and that I don’t like to see drama and weakness. Suddenly, the ego can’t play all the games it used to. It can’t build itself up anymore through powerful feelings like, “I hate him,” “I am the best,” “I am the worst,” and so on.

Seeing that it’s not doing so well, the ego then tries to protect itself by all means. For example, it projects feelings, or a sore back, or thoughts like, “I am constantly getting worse!”—which is not true at all. It’s just that one can suddenly see how one has always been. In this difficult situation, we throw another piece of meat to the ego—for example, the bodhisattva attitude. We tell it, “You are here to help all beings.” At first, the ego thinks we’ve noticed how good it is and all the things it can do, but actually the bodhisattva attitude is complete poison for it. First, we have to think of others all the time and therefore have no more time to think of ourselves; and second, we always get those teachings on emptiness, which say that we don’t exist at all.

This is really fatal for the ego. Now it has already become so weak that it has only one place left to entrench itself. That’s when it starts to see what others are doing wrong. It has already given up trying to protect itself, since it knows that everything is actually an illusion. Now instead it tries to find faults in others—“He does this and she says that,” and so on. How do we conquer this final bastion? How do we make the ego smolder and finally snuff it out completely? Through the pure view! We think, “Even my doubt is my buddha nature. Even my most evil thoughts are spontaneous wisdom. My biggest problem is my best way out.” Then we’ve made it.

When I notice my disturbing emotions and try to let them go, at the same time I feel my own reluctance to do this. Where does this come from?

Lama Ole’s answer:

This is precisely the influence of the ego; that’s why one needs wisdom. The ego is enchanting and addictive, just like all other poisons. After some years of meditation it’s easy to make fun of the ego. But until then, it’s not so easy. I compare the ego with a military coup in a banana republic. A few gentlemen with mustaches and berets enter, shoot a few people, and rule the country.

The mind in all its abundance is like a radiant jewel with a lot of different sides and qualities. Some of those facets—like memory, pride, expectation, hope, and fear—are strongly emotionally charged. They try to control the rest of the mind—for example, its ability to think in a mathematical or political way, artistic creation, and all its other interesting talents. This way, those fat gentlemen leading the coup believe they are somehow vindicated.

So overcoming the ego is about getting the fat men down from the horse and keeping them there. That is the point. When you succeed, you become spontaneous and effortless. Then the jewel of mind shines in all its facets, because it is wisdom in itself. Without filters and obstacles, the mind produces whatever quality is needed in the moment—that can come forward unhindered.

Regarding those dictators who try to run the system, we remove them by all means—attacking with wisdom, with joy, with everything possible, until the mind trusts itself and can rest in its center, without hope and fear, simply in the moment itself.

One starts by removing neurotic behavior; that is the first level of the Hinayana or Foundational Way. When the neuroses are gone, then compassion and wisdom arise on the level of the Great Way. After one progresses with this and gains surplus, one comes to the final level of the Diamond Way. In the end, one rests in the here and now, with all antennas extended in all directions. Fearlessness, joy, and love have arisen by themselves and no longer need any outer cause.

What can we do against stubbornness and egotism?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Against egotism it helps to see that all people are in the same situation as we are. They all want to be happy and avoid suffering. They behave well when they are doing well and become unpleasant when they’re having a bad time. So we can see that they are not so different from us.

And against stubbornness? The best is maybe to say “PEI!” Every time you are totally stuck in your own fixed ideas, you can quickly say “PEI!” inwardly. It’s like a pile of peas being hit by a stick; they fly everywhere. A sharp “PEI!” is very good. Then when the elements of your stubbornness condense again, say “PEI!” once more, and then maybe they’ll stay away.

If people take themselves too seriously, tickle them. Just be careful of where you are standing in relation to them, because if they are angry they might try to hit you with the back of their head. So duck down a bit to the side and tickle from there. And then say, “Aren’t you happy today?” And even though they’re taking themselves incredibly seriously, they’ll start to laugh.

Can a big ego be useful?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Yes, if one transforms it. Normally it only blocks communication and is our worst enemy. But if one transforms the ego from thinking “How great I am!” to thinking “How great we all are!” then one’s experience goes straight from hell to paradise.

If you think, “I am so great and so much smarter than everyone else,” you are always lonely and in bad company. But if instead you think how great everyone else is and what they are capable of, then you’re always in good company and can learn something from everybody. You can give something to everyone and the world becomes more and more beautiful.

If a teacher stands in front of his class and thinks, “What are those thirty gorillas doing here?” he might as well leave immediately, because you can’t teach gorillas anything. But if he thinks, “What are those thirty Einsteins doing in my class?” then suddenly it is fun because the students can learn a lot.

Heaven and hell happen between your own ears or ribs, depending on where you imagine the mind to be. If you see people and everything in the world as great—this is heaven. If you see dangers, difficulties, and pain everywhere, then you are in hell.

Could you please explain the meaning of equanimity?

Answer of Lama Ole Nydahl:

Equanimity means being constantly aware that we are all already buddhas, whether we know it or not. It means having no attachment and aversion, not dividing anything into categories like “good” or “bad,” and always wishing everybody all the best. Of course one still has to act and know what is right or wrong for oneself, but all this should happen without anger or bad feelings towards others.

The best antidote to jealousy and all kinds of expectations is very simple: you make yourself infinitely rich in your mind, and that way you can give others all the happiness in the world. Every time you think of someone you want something from—for example, you want him to love you—think, “May he have all the happiness imaginable.” Because if you feel rich yourself and are in the position to give and to wish the other something good, then you will never go wrong.

A situation gets difficult if it feels small and narrow. If, for example, your former partner is now with someone else and you think, “Oh, right now he is with her doing this or that thing which is so wonderful and special and which we always did together…”—this is a thought that catches you, that you won’t get rid of. This is a narrow situation. But if you wish him fifty dancing girls or—for the ladies—as many mustachioed officers on horseback as she wants, if you wish everything in abundance for the other, then it is not personal anymore but rather like watching a Disney movie. And suddenly the problem dissolves. With this approach, a small, personal thing turns into something profound, and you can grow very quickly by using this way of thinking as a turbocharger.

All at once, you get out of the darkness and really start to shine. You can crack jokes about things that were very touchy to you before, and work with the situation without limitations. This gives a lot of strength and has an exceedingly liberating effect. Then, in addition, you might be lucky enough to get an extra bit of good energy from the teacher, who pushes you in the right direction to quickly discover your own power. Wishing everyone all the best is really very good.

How can we best practice equanimity in everyday life?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Most people have little control over what they experience and how they experience it. They depend on outer conditions and their mood—meaning that they are nice when they feel good and difficult when they feel bad. Recognizing this, you can try to bring them into the best possible situations, so that they do as well as possible. This helps them have the chance to be nice. This way, so to speak, the stone rolls more and more often into another, better direction. They can create the habit of playing in the comedies of life rather than the tragedies.

You should not let yourself be disturbed by difficult people. Just think that they behave as well as they can and that they don’t know any better. Don’t take things so seriously and personally.

However, one shouldn’t become too overconfident in this regard either. If your fellow human beings call your attention to the same flaw in yourself again and again, and yet you’re convinced that all the others are wrong, then you’d better examine yourself carefully.

What is the difference between patience and indifference?

Lama Ole’s answer:

That is a really good question! Patience does not mean “doing nothing” or “being indifferent.” Rather, it means having an imperturbable, unshakeable mind in any situation and not having any anger in connection with what one is doing. So it means that we always prevail, that we go our own way and always try to do our best without being directed by disturbing emotions.

Do you have no fear at all while parachuting?

Lama Ole’s answer:

If one has understood the emptiness of mind, one becomes fearless. Emptiness and fearlessness are inseparable. My parachuting accident benefitted me a lot because it gave me the chance to confirm that I really have no fear. It affirmed that I don’t just talk about something and stay superficial. I have checked it out and it is true.

Once one has had such an experience, one gets some distance from many things that simply don’t matter. Many beliefs and concepts become obsolete—one just doesn’t need them anymore. This is the most important part of becoming fearless.

If we go beyond our limits while, for example, riding a motorcycle, can’t we also confuse this with carelessness?

Lama Ole’s answer:

It’s like this: if you fly out of the curve, you were too fast, and if you don’t fly out, you were too slow. There is a fine line in between, depending on what you like and the quality of your tires. When the motorcycle, the road, and the driver come together as a natural totality, then everything works by itself.

But you should steer clear of such a situation if you’re not resting in your center. Don’t try to prove something hotheadedly—that always goes wrong and is really reckless.

Is it true that we gain more power if we go beyond our limits again and again?

Lama Ole’s answer:

If you only do the number of chin-ups you can do easily, then you keep the muscles you already have. But to let your muscles grow, you have to do the couple of extra chin-ups at the end of the workout that hurt and are difficult.

Wherever we go beyond our limits, new space and freedom arises. Life can be compared to a rubber band: if it is never used, then one day it simply gets weak and breaks. But if one uses it again and again, then it stays pliable and useful. This means that it is good to give up one’s old habits and time and again go a little bit further than before. We should do this by trusting in space and in our own possibilities—never as an escapist reaction. This way we expand our potential—our life always stays fresh and new things can appear.

Going beyond our limits from time to time is clearly meaningful, but how do we make sure we don’t go too far?

Lama Ole’s answer:

My advice is to use common sense. Step by step one can go further and at the same time do more for others. Occasionally, we should go beyond our limits, because this creates more space in our mind and is very joyful. But one should still be cautious when doing so.

Once your motivation is pure—meaning, as soon as you work solely for others—then the buddhas think of you and you are protected. You do everything for others and the others do everything for you. I don’t even think about whether something is dangerous anymore. If one just works in open space and does what the moment requires, then everything glistens, everything is full of joy and happens here and now.

I have had a lot of fun in physically risky activities, but after several accidents I am not sure whether I should continue or rather hold myself back a bit.

Lama Ole’s answer:

In Buddhism, there is the expression, “precious human body.” Our body is precious because it enables us to develop, learn, and experience things. I advise you to remain within your limits at the beginning. Then, when there’s a clear blue sky, you might enjoy a tandem skydive jump, where you have an instructor on your back who pulls the cord for you so nothing dangerous can happen. From time to time, you might allow yourself such an adrenaline rush. All things considered, we should be careful about what we do, because it is better to be able to jump around happily than to meditate in a wheelchair.

My advice is actually a bit more conservative than my behavior, I have to admit. A few days per year, I get on a fast motorcycle and go riding with some friends. Or sometimes, I go skydiving or bungee jumping. Although I am always convinced that I’m in control of the motorcycle or the situation, there are moments when I go into a skid, which is quite dangerous.

Once I went into a serious high-speed skid on a wet street with a heavy, four-cylinder BMW. Then suddenly, I felt as if I were being held by a thousand arms and I was back on track again. Alone I never would have been able to hold that heavy machine. In that case, the buddhas controlled the bike better than I could. I always know things will work out and I trust in space. I am happy when something like that happens, but at the same time it is a bit embarrassing.

Does the mind need a body to become enlightened?

Lama Ole’s answer:

To become enlightened, it is better to have a body. In the pure lands, where one only imagines one has a body, reaching enlightenment is certain, but it happens much more slowly. To have a body means to experience desires, attachment, pride, and many other states. If the huge power contained in these feelings is transformed, it brings radiant enlightenment very quickly indeed. That is the advantage of having a body. If we properly use all the desires, attachments, expectations, etc., that we currently experience, then we are on the fastest path to enlightenment.

The body is also useful because we can hold the mind with it. Since the mind is bound to the body, one can, for example, use body posture during meditation to calm the mind down and focus it on one point. We can also work with sense impressions and our identification with them.

What actually keeps the mind tied to the body?

Lama Ole’s answer:

Habit! At this very moment you are connected to all energies and places everywhere. What keeps you in your body is an ego-illusion. There is actually no difference at all between the vibration in your skin and the vibration everywhere. And you don’t have to leave the body to become enlightened. What keeps you tied to your body now is habit. And habit again is what will try to hold you back while dying. This will continue until the ego-illusion falls away.